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meganlohmania

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the origins of figaro

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by

meganlohmania

in

the story of Figaro…

first let’s set the scene – ~11pm on Saturday, September 23, 2017. Denton, Texas.

I had just parked my car in front of my apartment (a student living apartment complex I lived during my Junior year of college that I ended up moving out of because I had several incidents of the entire buildings’ sewage back up into my ground floor unit’s kitchen. but I digress!)

as I was walking from my car to my apartment, I saw a small tiny creature on the sidewalk and thought it was a mouse or rat, but the closer I got, it didn’t run away from me so then I thought it was a DEAD mouse or rat. but once I got close enough, I realized it was a newborn kitten, fresh out of mama cat. me being me, I immediately Googled wtf to do because I was not leaving this poor, helpless thing on the sidewalk to die. I ended up waiting around/looking for a mama cat but never found her (and literally never saw her through the day I moved out). I ended up scooping up the itty bitty baby, and carried it inside and looked up what to do next. I then spent the rest of the night looking up how to keep him alive through the night until I could get help from someone who actually had experience dealing with baby kittens the next morning. Below is my google history from that exact night

note the time stamps on these lol, i don’t think I slept at all that night solely bc I was worried about keeping his ass alive (apparently he was being stubborn about eating)
this is exactly how he was when I brought him inside (I still have this towel)
he was so small he fit in the palm of my hand
he slept curled up around my neck/chest all night

also, at this point I had decided to name him Figaro after the cat in Pinocchio

the next morning I was able to bring him to my aunt Monica, who has had a lot of experience with bottle feeding kittens. she was able to get him to eat and took care of him for the next couple of weeks, bringing him up to the family office with her daily because he needed to eat 24/7

tiny little baby when he was the size of the bottle
he was a very hungry baby
and he was so cute omg
so tiny and small, and you could still put your hands on him without getting hissed at or scratched
he was walking before he could even open his eyes
biggggg stretch

it’s nice that my mom and aunt work together because I got lots of updates and was able to visit him often. eventually my mom brought him home and my parents kept his little gray ass wiped and fed every day

when we first brought him home, we left him in a carrier to keep him safe, but also so the other cats would be able to get used to him. Bear was very curious
Henry looks like he wanted to kill him (spoiler alert: he didn’t)

I also learned so much about kittens, like they eat a LOT – and they can’t relieve themselves. I spent days pouring over The Kitten Lady videos on Youtube lol

my dad was not thrilled to have another cat in the house but when I tell y’all that Figaro still crawls into my dad’s neck/shoulder like this TO THIS DAY…
further evidence my dad was hooked from day 1
he would use his tiny paws/claws to gripper/massage our fingers/the blanket while he would eat

I would regularly visit my parents on the weekends to spend time with Figaro, here’s a bunch of photos from his first few weeks of life –

He also made the perfect meme

Eventually Figaro started walking, please enjoy this video

his little wobbles are the cutest thing ever

his big brother Henry was always very curious about the wobbling rat-sized mini cat

he loved laying on his back
he also loved sleeping in a kitty burrito
he used to be so cute

he eventually got comfortable on his feet and became a wild child

from climbing on top of his carrier

to attacking anything and everything

he was also very talkative and demanded attention 24/7 (he is still talkative, just more aloof now)

volume up to hear him squeak his little lungs out
he was just so cute though
I forgot how cute he was before he turned evil

eventually he graduated to real cat food and got to eat with the big boys

I don’t remember when he became evil but here’s some more photos of little Figaro

he loves spending time with his big brothers – Henry, Bear, and Pipes

at some point between january 2017 and march 2017 he became evil because THIS is the Figaro we all know (and love) today –

this is Figaro today (August 2026), looking just as evil as ever

eventually I will be making a “Figaro Wall of Shame” post about all of the evil things he has done to terrorize the family over the last 9 years, stay tuned!

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